Friday, November 11, 2016

Let's Be Real About the Hard Emotions


As an emotionally dynamic woman, and as an avid Disney fan, it is not hard to imagine “Inside Out,” being one of my favorite Disney movies. I am able to connect to Riley and her emotions on an intimate level. The main reason why I love this movie, and why I think so many others are able to connect to this movie, is because it brings awareness to the emotions that we would rather live without. In the movie’s case sadness is the emotion that is seen as troublesome. In the beginning of the movie sadness is seen as a burden, an emotion that nobody wants to live with. I won’t give away any spoilers away (except one!) but at the end of the movie the other emotions, especially Joy, see the importance of sadness and how she plays an important role in Riley’s life.

I think Joy’s realization of sadness at the end is beautiful because society as a whole does not want to recognize the importance of negative emotions. We are afraid of discomfort and negative emotions are known for leading us to places of discomfort.Instead, we would rather focus on the happy emotions, such as Joy, and act like the negative emotions, such as sadness, doesn't exist. Our society is very much similar to the inside of Riley’s brain at the beginning of the movie. It makes sense right, focus on aspects of our life that makes us feel good and not the aspects that make us feel bad. However, how long can we keep up that façade? If God gave us these beautiful emotions then shouldn’t we value all of them, even the ones that don't make us feel good. Sadness, anger, guilt, fear, etc. they are all gifts that we should as instruments of wisdom. Shouldn't we dwell on why we are feeling sadness instead of hiding it? It is ok to sit in our sadness, just as long as we don’t let it consume us. I believe it takes a wise and self-aware person to find the balance between this. I have no right judging others who struggle with this because I struggle with this as well.

However, if we don’t give ourselves the space to dwell in our negative emotions then we are not being authentic with our true selves and others around us. By wearing a mask that is always smiling, we are not emotionally available to be empathetic with others, I find this concept illustrated in one particular scene in “Inside Out.” It is when Joy is trying to cheer Bing Bong up after he lost his spaceship wagon. Joy, the fun emotion, the happy emotion, the emotion that everybody loves, is failing. This is because she cannot connect to Bing Bong on an empathetic level. Joy has never experienced sadness, so how can she expect to BE with Bing Bong in a time of grief. What Bing Bong needs most during his time of grief is someone who can sit with him without judgment, something Joy cannot provide. In fact, if I were Bing Bong I would be really mad at Joy for trying to make me happy again and not giving me the space to grieve. Her intentions were genuine but not giving him space to cry is not.

 Sadness, on the other hand, did give Bing Bong space to cry and was able to connect to Bing Bong on an empathetic level. Sadness, obviously knows what sadness is, and was able to allow Bing Bong the opportunity to feel sad. Sadness was a peace warrior in this scene because she did not fix Bing Bong’s problem but sat with him through it. And she was able to do this because she knows what Bing Bong is feeling and was able to help him tap into that. In the case of Bing Bong’s grief, it was ok for him to feel that negative emotion because it was that negative emotion that got him through his struggle. Ok first off, sadness played an awesome counselor in that scene. Second off, I’ve been feeling a lot of negativity the last couple of weeks.

The reason I bring up “Inside Out,” is because it is a reminder that it is ok to feel the negativity I’ve recently been experiencing. Ideally, I do not want to feel negativity but if I do, it does not make me any less of a person. Is Riley less of a person when she feels sad? No!!! In fact, she is even more of a person when she feels sad. I may feel these negative emotions sometimes, but you know what, I am still a whole person. I am enough. I am enough if I feel happy; I am enough if I feel sad. I might have extreme emotions, but that does not make me any more or any less of a person than someone else. All it means is that we process emotions different, and we need to respectful of how that happens.


Now I know some people back home will be like, “Oh my gosh! Julia’s upset! What’s wrong,” “Is she stressed? Depressed? Is they’re anything I can do,” “Does she need a care package?” As grateful as I am that I have such a strong support network, having people say those types of things will just suffocate me. I am not in an emotional or spiritual state where you should be worried about me, the phase that I am in is very normal for Dwellers and YAVs around this time. If you are still worried about me and want to show emotional support all you have to do is read my blog and pray for me. But the point of this blog post is not to have people pray for me, the point of this blog post is to write about giving ourselves the space to be vulnerable with the emotions it maybe hard to be vulnerable with. I don’t think there is a single answer to how to do that, all we can really do as people is to be aware of that and show compassion where compassion is needed.

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