A Man at a Bookstore and a Woman at a Coffee Shop

“A Man at a Bookstore and a Woman at a Coffee Shop,” sounds like a pretty good meet cute, no? Well, the title is not describing any meet cutes I had in LA, but instead describing times when I was really able to connect to some people of LA. And technically I had coffee with both Brooke and Christopher but “A Man at a Bookstore and a Man and Woman at a Coffee Shop,” does not sound as good. Before I write more, I would just like to say that I received permission to write about these awesome people in my blog. 

How do describe these awesome people of LA thus far? How do I describe LA thus far? How do I describe the experiences I’ve had thus far? Besides these questions all being questions my mom would most likely ask; they are also questions that describe life. How do I describe awesome people? How do I describe a city full of life? How do I describe experiences I’ve had? How am I supposed to compartmentalize life in just a mere blog? I can’t, and just like I can’t compartmentalize life in a blog, I can’t compartmentalize the answers to those questions in a blog. However, that doesn't stop me from expressing my thoughts in a blog post. While I have too many thoughts buzzing around my head, there are certain images of LA that standout to me: images of me being a stranger in a strange land.

Not only am I a stranger, I see lots of trash, the footprints of homelessness, and a lot of diversity. I see torn tents that people call home, which can be found on the sidewalks and in underpasses. I see people of color where I am reminded of what it means to be white and how my whiteness privileged me throughout my life. I see empty bottles, cigarette buds on the ground. I see the broken, but I don’t see helpless. However, I see people who think they are helpless. I see apathy and I see compassion at the same time. I also see pity and empowerment at the same time. I smell the stench of unclean filth and I hear the voices of mumblings as well as other languages. On the streets and building are graffiti. Some are cool morals that businesses had commission, some are freelance taggers, and some are curse words galore. Waiting to cross the street takes forever, but I don’t want to j-walk for the fear of being run over. While I wait to cross the street I can hear honking everywhere, which eventually becomes a norm to me. Walking to the bus stops becomes the norm, taking the subway and having a tap card becomes the norm, noticing the fact that I am white girl becomes the norm. A lot of the imagery I just described isn’t even the bulk of LA. I’ve recently fallen in love with this city but there are still some things that I feel uncomfortable writing about. Some of what I already wrote about was already getting someone uncomfortable for me.

However, in that discomfort of adapting to a new lifestyle, I am able to find comfort.

It is when I think of some of the members of the young adult group at First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood (yes the two lovers of life mentioned in the title are part of the young adult group.) The most prominent time when I think of them is when I am at Pershing Square, when we (the Dwellers) where introduced to the group. The first time I visited Pershing Square was with the young adult group, we had lunch there and then explored downtown LA together. Now I didn’t really connect to the group that day, I was still nice and friendly but I wasn't really planning on making friends with them. However, the following Sunday we ended up eating lunch with the young adults on the church lawn and I actually stayed longer than my fellow Dwellers.  I was just that engaged in conversation and I wanted to make friends. I was willing to put in the effort, even if that meant walking 25 minutes home instead of riding in the Dwell van. Slowly but surely I am starting to build more connections with people from the young adult group.

Whenever I visit Pershing Square, I can’t help but be happy from remembering some of those awesome people. I even pretend that their energy is with me throughout the day. This is EXTREMELY important because of what my work placement is and where it is located. For my Dwell year, I will be working at PATH, an agency dedicated to stopping homelessness. Within PATH, I will be doing outreach and one of the places I will be outreaching at is downtown LA. Near the downtown PATH area is Pershing Square, where I think of the awesome people I met that day. This made my day because doing outreach downtown can be draining so visiting that spot and pretending like they got my back is very rewarding.

It’s reassuring to know that when I get stressed out I can go to certain places and be reminded of their energy. If I go to The Last Bookstore, I will feel David’s presence with me because of the awesome conversation we had there (we didn't talk about super awesome stuff, but it was an awesome conversation because of how engaged and selfless David was towards me.) If I go to Koreatown, specifically a certain coffee shop there, I will feel Brooke and Christopher’s presence because of the time I spent with them there. This feeling of receiving my friends’ presence is very comforting because I know there will be times in LA where I will be anxious and need the comfort of my friends (in spirit or physically there) to get me through day. It already happened once with Pershing Square, every time I do outreach there I feel happy and not anxious. And I know that I will always have God’s presence with me to get me through whatever life throws at me, but sometimes it helps just to have another human being extend a hand that says, “I am here for you friend.” I know I have a support team back home, but sometimes it’s nice to know that I have a support team that isn’t a plane ride away (my love language is physical touch so this is a good thing.)

Now beautiful readers, I don’t need to write a blog post about why friends are important. I am sure you have enough love and compassion in your hearts to figure that one out. But I will say that I feel connected to some people already. People that I hope to call friends. I’ve actually opened up to people such as Brooke, Christopher, and David already, which says a lot considering how long it takes me to open up to people. I even told David that I feel happy here. I told him that it usually it takes me several weeks before I’m able to open up to people, but it only took me a couple of days to open up to people. (It only took me a couple of hours to open up to David). I know this is because I am currently not living in the fear of being judged or shamed. That is somewhat ironic because I thought it was part of the human condition to live in judgment (seriously find me a human being that doesn't feel judged so I can learn from them. Better yet find that person for Brene Brown so she can study and write a book about that person!) Rather or not feeling judged is part of the human condition, feeling a need to belong and be loved is definitely part of the human condition. Now, I don't know if I’m going to be in LA or even California for a short or long time but I know that, right now, I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I feel at peace with that and am able to boldly share my heart with others because of it. And I don’t know if I’ll stay in California after this year, but I hope that people will share their hearts with me while I am here!